Love Found -- Finding Presence in Daily Inspirations

For Part One, click here: Love Lost

(This is my experience, strength and hope. Please do not misunderstand the energy or passion of my words to indicate any level of authority – except perhaps about my own experiences, strength and hope.)

The Journey Begins
Imagine for a moment, that we are on exploratory expedition, with the intent being to find a strange new place called “love”. Where would we look? What would be indications that we were close – or far away -- from our destination? What resources would we use to find clues and directions? Who could we turn to for help?

We could “Goggle” the internet using the word “love”, and \we would find many, many links to sites dealing with the subject. We would find tons of information and stories about, and descriptions of “love”. And I believe we could be no where closer than we were before.

Maybe the place to do an “internet” network search is in our own hearts.

Following our Hearts
Let’s start our pursuit with the consciousness that love cannot be found by or in our brains. It can be only be experienced in an area called our “hearts”, and then shared – experientially – through the medium of words and thoughts – which must be experienced also. Using our brains to experience and pursue love is like trying to see a sunset with our ears – it is not the medium of perception that can be used on sunsets.

Where Is Love Hiding?
There are several places where love becomes hidden:
1. The Trees of Distraction: what most people, including myself, have interpreted as love is the relief we have felt when a relationship distracted us from ourselves – partially anesthetizing our senses. Relief from the conscious or unconscious pain of being human and being separated is most frequently perceived by humans as “love”. In romantic relationships, for example, opposites attract because they distract.
2. The Forest of Intimacy: when relationships have gone on long enough or gone deep enough, the inebriation caused by the initial distractions of the relationship begins to wear off, and we begin to experience increased consciousness – and historical unresolved pain and fear. At this point, our brains conclude that the closeness and connection is not real or acceptable, and initiates a relationship destruct sequence.

So if real love is not the pleasurable feeling of relief from others distracting us; and if true love improves our conscious contact with ourselves to the point that we can experience overwhelming unhealed, historical pain; and if our unconscious brains are programmed to protect us from the pain of increasing consciousness with others, where are we left in the pursuit of love.

A Different Place
My first spiritual adviser taught me relentlessly page 417 in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous as the basis for relationships, living, and love:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, thing, or situation – some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing , or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.

The writer later describes the effects of acceptance on his relationship with his wife.
His emotional illness had caused major disruption and disturbance of his perceptions and reactions – to the extent that the beautiful person he had married had become perceived as a flawed and unacceptable person. In his disturbance, he had judged, rejected, and abandoned her – he had lost his inner place of “love” for her.

As he began to heal with improving conscious Presence with his God, he was given a “new pair of glasses” – he was restored to his truer self, and in that experience he rediscovered the wonderful person he had met and loved before – and more.

In learning to live in unconditional acceptance, we begin to realize that acceptance is the truest “location” of love. And it is only possible when we are personally and consciously connected to our God’s unconditional acceptance -- love – of us. The new pair of glasses is beginning to see others – and ourselves – through Their eyes. We are all wonderful, exciting, and perfect in Their perception – and They know all our secrets – even the ones we don’t know.

A GPS Prayer

God, grant me the Presence to accept and love others without their having to change, the Presence to be changed by your acceptance and love, and the Presence to know the difference between love and distraction. Amen

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Love Heals - Spiritual Awakening and Daily Inspirations

Love cures people, the ones who receive, and the ones that give it, too.
Karl A. Menninger

“Love” is an interesting word in our culture. People can love ice cream, clothes, movies, TV shows, vacation places – and other people. Somehow the same word does not seem to mean the same in each situation.

And yet, the impression we can get from others is that everyone knows exactly what the word means. Frequently this seems to really be a case of “missing identity.”

Dr. Menninger describes “love” as the cure for people. I agree with his statement, only I believe we have to clarify what aspect of spiritual healing “love” involves.

Perhaps a place to start is with what “illness” does humans have that needs to be “cured” – why do we need spiritual healing at all.

In my experience, all human illness is caused by separation – from God, from others, and most acutely from ourselves. The condition of humanness is one of loneliness, guilt, fear, pain, anger – and sadness. All of these symptoms are directly related and proportionate to our level of our personal separation and sense of abandonment.

So what does love do that can cure our disease of humanness? Maybe “love” is about being intimately reconnected to God, to others, and to ourselves.

My experience is that God interacts with humans by means of Presence – an unconditional availability and flow of “loving” interpersonal energy which could be the definition of “love”.

Perhaps, if we were to interact with others using unconditional attentiveness and companionship, and gifts of caringness – spiritual presence to others -- maybe we would find people who responded to this spiritual treatment, and experienced spiritual healing of their human condition. Maybe like Dr. Menninger said, we would also find ourselves experiencing spiritual healing and spiritual enlightenment as well.

Let’s try and see.

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Turn on God"s Love Light -- Spiritual Enlightenment and Daily Inspirations

Every day my eyes would automatically open as the sun began to rise. I’d lie there and not just look at the dawn, the dawn would enter me. The imprint of sunshine – of a new day following the darkness of night – made its way into my cells.
Marianne Williamson

Light – spiritual enlightenment – precious moments illuminating the darkness – experiencing daily inspirations – bursts of God’s Presence – as we spiritually awaken to spiritual healing -- from painful darkness.

I heard of a child who was chronically punished for being unacceptable by being placed in a small closet underneath the stairs. Her mother called it the “Mean Kid’s House”.

The child and her siblings would work hard and sometimes they would be given a little money. When her siblings had a chance, they would buy candy. But the child from the closet would buy candles. The candles were so she could have light in the darkness of her “Mean Kid’s House”.

Darkness is the absence of loving, caring, unconditional Presence – from others, then causing a sense of separation from God, and ultimately separating us from ourselves. Sometimes it is as physical as a closet, but more often it is a dark and sad place inside of us.

We all live or have lived in the “Mean Kid’s House”. Shame, guilt, fear, loneliness, and sadness – mental and spiritual darkness – have surrounded our existence and experience. A conditional world had abandoned us in order to avoid themselves.

Many of us created imaginary friends, selves, lives to fill the darkness with blind hope – actually temporary mental painkillers fashioned in painful desperation. Nothing changed – and we remained hopelessly damned to the empty stale and blinding silence. The only voices were the voices within our brains – and even they became progressively more and more abusive.

To escape, we must begin to find “candles” – sources of light, love and Presence. “Candy” is nice. But loving Presence begins to shatter the darkness with new inner sources of hope and healing. Our lives begin to change – spiritual enlightenment begins to burn – beginning as just a spark, and becoming radiating beams of warming Presence and spiritual healing.

Our God knows the way out. We need to find and follow Their loving Light out of our darkness and into Better Places by Their loving design and care.

The imprint of sunshine – of a new day following the darkness of night – made its way into my cells. And one morning it was as though I heard the voice of God, telling me as I witnessed the dawn that “Such is the work I will do within you.” I too would experience a new dawn after the dark night of my soul. God would give me a new beginning. I knew it then. And as I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep, I thanked Him with all my heart. And my heart was healed.
Marianne Williamson



In the darkness shall be the light, and in the stillness, the dancing.
e.e. cummings

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Finding Wonders of Daily Inspirations in Darkness and Silence

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.

Helen Keller

I have always been impressed with the wisdom and depth of Helen Keller's words. Here we have someone who was blind and deaf -- absent of the two main physical sources of sensation and awareness -- who was able to "see and hear" way beyond what is normal for human beings. The depth of her vision and insight, and her ability to hear our humanity in her dark and silent world reminds us that we do not have to be limited by our humanness.

"Everything has its wonder" -- in every situation there is the unknown. Our human condition can paint pain and dread on to the canvasses of our brains. We can expect only the worst -- only what our shame and separation describes as "what we deserve!"

"I wonder what horrible thing is going to happen to me to day." Prerecorded, programmed messages on the filters of our brains that tells us, "it's coming -- and it's going to be bad!"

How do we get from here to "wonder"?

My shame and guilt are the results of separation and experiences of abandonment from others. They have programmed our brains this way. To change this, we must become connected -- intimately -- to a higher Presence -- a "God" of our life experience. In this relationship, we can begin to take on "God's Vision" of what is, and who we are. His (and Her) views of life and of us are very different from ours -- full of wonder and expectant joy -- wondering what we are going to do next -- like a parent watches their infant, toddler -- child.

"Even in darkness and silence" Maybe more accurately, in darkness and silence we begin to experience depths of true wonder. Many times we become so distracted by the blaring noises, and blinding lights of our world, that any possible wonder is drowned out by sheer overstimulation.

Actually, my experience is that we need to return and be returned to the basics of darkness and silence so we can find wonder, Presence, and hope. Out of this spiritual darkness comes a different light that only our hearts can see -- a still small voice that only our hearts can hear -- in silence.

The irony is that the human brain is programmed to avoid and condemn darkness and silence as if it were an evil plague. It's time to receive spiritual enlightenment and Presence that recreates our being in the dark and silent womb of unknowing -- the wisdom and intimacy that is born out of not knowing.

As we begin to live in this new perceptions -- with these new spiritual senses -- we begin to see and hear past what the brain defines as what is, moving into contentment and serenity, and eventually into love, Presence, and expectant wonderment.

"What's next! Something wonderful is getting ready to happen!"

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Self-Forgiveness Begins with the Spiritual Enlightenment of God's Presence

Sometimes the past is so painful to think about that your only salvation lies in complete surrender to the mercy of God. Only in Him are you given the strength and courage it takes to keep on walking when every step is hard. But, finally, after what can seem like an endless journey in the darkness of your own regret, you come upon the light again. You have no doubt who has set you free, for only One who is author of forgiveness would give you still another chance.
Marianne Williamson

The past can be painful, whether the outcomes were desired or undesired. In my experience, accomplishments frequently reminded me that I was expecting a certain event or series of events to make me happy, and when they failed, I was left even more hopelessly lost.


Ultimately, I am forced to surrender – to stop buying the illusion of my possible control of what is, and of how I will perceive and feel as a result. I am powerless – I cannot control what is or how I react to what is – the past reoccurs on the screens of my mind as if current and happening. These inner images are programmed to continue repeating themselves indefinitely if not changed.

I am left no choice but to turn to the loving and merciful Presence of God – to change and spiritually heal my experience and perceptions. In His (and Her) Presence I am given the sanity of strength and courage to keep putting one thought, and one feeling – one moment and one breath at a time – in front of the other.


My journey seems endless because it is recycling my past -- over and over again -- with greater and greater darkness – repeating abandonment and separation. The Light – God’s loving Presence – begins to glow – and the walls of my inner prison begin to dissolve. I am being taught and reprogrammed to see me with God’s eyes – and They hold nothing against me – They are teaching me to experience Their truth – and I am able, with their love and caring, to forgive and admire myself – and love me with Their unconditional love – and admiration.


We really are Their children – created out of their infinite love.

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What Happens When We Stop Falling? Finding Daily Inspirations

A baby learning to walk falls a lot.

Kathleen Rowe

What happens when we stop falling? Have we “learned to “walk”? Have we “arrived”?

I am fascinated by my own desire to finish something – to step out from behind my human stream of being, and find my self at a predetermined set of coordinates – fixed and whole. And yet I am lost. Erected road signs claim to show the way through life to some desirable and earned place of happiness and completeness. And yet I am not -- there.

My brain seems so foolish. It is programmed to project any version of reality that hides my truths – to keep me away from understanding what can only be experienced – to mislead me away from who I really am.

A child -- learning to walk-- is confronted with a physical force – gravity. Something is sucking him or her toward their own feet – the basic and simplest place on top of this giant sphere of existence – the ground of all human beingness. Wandering around the universe of new sensations and experiences, the child is repeated thrown to its knees – to a place of pain and fear --- and then hope – the belief that someday they will be able to negotiate a working relationship with what they perceive to be freedom.

And the child falls – again and again. Until – something seems mastered – and the ordeal has produced its desired end. And now the child races forward to new experiences – forgetting the struggle that occurred to become – in motion.

I experience that to stop falling is to stop growing – to settle into the world’s glittering illusion of dreams. To fall is to reexperience the truth of my human state: without lasting intimate connection with my God, my self and my others -- I am powerless. Areas of my self are disconnected – in this breathing life. So I should always be falling from my own human graces -- toward a state of being that is “more me” – than I was before.

If this is not happening, I am not becoming. I am disbecoming – losing and leaving the existence of my living selves – aging into the oblivion of what my brain paints as the beyond – to finally stumble – back -- at the last -- into the stream of where I must become – and die into the life I leave behind.

The gift of falling is being given to me today, and I am growing – more and more consciously present – and I am faced with my deepest darkest truest selves. Together, with my God’s loving Presence, we are shedding the darkness and becoming a different light.

Maybe “walking” is overrated.

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Love Found -- Part Two -- Finding Presence and Daily Inspriations

For Part One, click here: Love Lost

(This is my experience, strength and hope. Please do not misunderstand the energy or passion of my words to indicate any level of authority – except perhaps about my own experiences, strength and hope.)

The Journey Begins
Imagine for a moment, that we are on exploratory expedition, with the intent being to find a strange new place called “love”. Where would we look? What would be indications that we were close – or far away -- from our destination? What resources would we use to find clues and directions? Who could we turn to for help?

We could “Goggle” the internet using the word “love”, and \we would find many, many links to sites dealing with the subject. We would find tons of information and stories about, and descriptions of “love”. And I believe we could be no where closer than we were before.

Maybe the place to do an “internet” network search is in our own hearts.

Following our Hearts
Let’s start our pursuit with the consciousness that love cannot be found by or in our brains. It can be only be experienced in an area called our “hearts”, and then shared – experientially – through the medium of words and thoughts – which must be experienced also. Using our brains to experience and pursue love is like trying to see a sunset with our ears – it is not the medium of perception that can be used on sunsets.

Where Is Love Hiding?
There are several places where love becomes hidden:
1. The Trees of Distraction: what most people, including myself, have interpreted as love is the relief we have felt when a relationship distracted us from ourselves – partially anesthetizing our senses. Relief from the conscious or unconscious pain of being human and being separated is most frequently perceived by humans as “love”. In romantic relationships, for example, opposites attract because they distract.
2. The Forest of Intimacy: when relationships have gone on long enough or gone deep enough, the inebriation caused by the initial distractions of the relationship begins to wear off, and we begin to experience increased consciousness – and historical unresolved pain and fear. At this point, our brains conclude that the closeness and connection is not real or acceptable, and initiates a relationship destruct sequence.

So if real love is not the pleasurable feeling of relief from others distracting us; and if true love improves our conscious contact with ourselves to the point that we can experience overwhelming unhealed, historical pain; and if our unconscious brains are programmed to protect us from the pain of increasing consciousness with others, where are we left in the pursuit of love.

A Different Place
My first spiritual adviser taught me relentlessly page 417 in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous as the basis for relationships, living, and love:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, thing, or situation – some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing , or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.

The writer later describes the effects of acceptance on his relationship with his wife.
His emotional illness had caused major disruption and disturbance of his perceptions and reactions – to the extent that the beautiful person he had married had become perceived as a flawed and unacceptable person. In his disturbance, he had judged, rejected, and abandoned her – he had lost his inner place of “love” for her.

As he began to heal with improving conscious Presence with his God, he was given a “new pair of glasses” – he was restored to his truer self, and in that experience he rediscovered the wonderful person he had met and loved before – and more.

In learning to live in unconditional acceptance, we begin to realize that acceptance is the truest “location” of love. And it is only possible when we are personally and consciously connected to our God’s unconditional acceptance -- love – of us. The new pair of glasses is beginning to see others – and ourselves – through Their eyes. We are all wonderful, exciting, and perfect in Their perception – and They know all our secrets – even the ones we don’t know.

A GPS Prayer

God, grant me the Presence to accept and love others without their having to change, the Presence to be changed by your acceptance and love, and the Presence to know the difference between love and distraction. Amen

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I Am Afraid of the Pain

A friend wrote this comment on Facebook:

I have to go to bed. Why can't I act like a normal human being and go to bed at night? I know. I've had PTSD since my surgery. I'm afraid to go to sleep; afraid of the pain that will be there when I wake up.

My personal experience is that “trauma” is anything separates me from conscious contact with God, with myself, and with others. This loss of conscious contact – separation – separates my conscious cognitive reasoning and decision making abilities from my impulse driven primitive brain, and I am either unconscious and numb, or conscious and overwhelmed by waves of pain, fear, and horrible loneliness.

For me, there are “answers” which my cognitive brain can know and understand, but these answers are not solutions which can heal my woundedness and relieve my pain and fear. In my experience, the trauma was the loss of conscious contact by pain and fear, and the solution is a spiritual process of improving my conscious contact with my God, with myself, and with others.

Spirituality, for me, is about my conscious experience of intimate relations with my conscious Higher Power’s Presence.

In separation – trauma – my brain constricts neural energy in order to try to control the pain, and ends up creating an ongoing illness which inflicts more pain and fear – separation – even when the trauma is less or no longer occurring. For me, the following has become my daily, moment to moment process of dealing with post trauma and chronic separation:
1. Experience and admit my powerlessness over the pain and fear, and their causes. This, for me, is an improvement in conscious contact with myself, with the beginning of a conscious experience that I am not expected to – nor could I when I tried – control my perceptions, reactions, actions, and the outcomes of my life experiences.
2. Connect with a Presence greater than myself. “Abandonment”, separation, loss of conscious contact was ultimately the actual trauma. So the solution, treatment, medication for the “illness” is a restoring of conscious contact – intimately, personally and consciously. The major way that I have been able to do this is by self disclosing –expressing -- my pain and fear to others who have experienced and/or are consciously experiencing similar trauma, separation, and their results. Where two or more are “gathered” together in conscious contact with themselves, God will appear – intimately and personally – as an unseen but infinitely powerful Presence that can soothe our pain and restore healthy connection to the separation within our brains – and relationships.
3. Based on the Presence I have begun to experience, take actions of trust and confidence in my God. I was taught, “if you believed that your God were healing your life and taking away your pain, what would you be doing right now?” At times, it was as simple as taking conscious deep breaths. Other times it was giving a smile or a nod, or a listening ear to someone else. Other times it was having fun, or finding something humorous to enjoy.

I believe, from my experience, that you cannot change your situation and pain with thought, knowledge, or understanding. But I believe that there is hope – because you – we -- are Never Alone.

Where two or more come together in conscious powerlessness, God is allowed to consciously appear – to be intimately Present – and “things” change. Maybe you have been given this opportunity as a spiritual means of becoming even more than your have ever been. Experience and Presence will tell.

Is Your Soul for Sale? Holiday Hazards and Daily Inspirations

This morning as I was journaling, I became aware of how I have been struggling with insecurities regarding my worth and value as a person in this material world -- especially during the Holidays. I realized that I have been struggling to find a human way to validate and certify myself as a person of value and purpose -- with fluctuating success.

Three years ago, I sold a business and ended up managing a very special doctor’s practice after an sudden change left the doctor without a group with which to practice. Both have become good news, but both involved massive changes and losses of external life reference points that humans use to identify and validate themselves.

About five years ago-- right after the Holidays -- my wife of eleven years died of cancer -- after two really horrendous and painful years -- more change and loss.

I am still managing this practice, and in August I started writing a blog that has really taken me deeper and deeper inside myself -- more and more self and God intimate.

Change -- the loss of life reference points -- has left me feeling vulnerable and uncertain about who I am and what I am meant to give to others. Change and losses disorient human beings -- especially when there are no clear or pressing problems off of which to “reflect” ourselves.

As I was discussing my awarenesses with a spiritual friend, I remembered movies and stories where persons would sell their soul to Satan in order to obtain certain outcomes that they wanted. I would never do that, but actually I did try to sell my soul -- not to Satan -- but to “Jesus”.

From before I was born, my family was very active in a very fundamentalist church. As a child I was very insecure, timid, never feeling good enough. In my experience, fundamentalist religion teaches that God has to do what you ask -- if you do what you are “supposed” to do. Years later I realize that this message implied -- or stated -- the offer to sell my soul to get what I wanted. Happiness would have been nice, love and acceptance would have been wonderful, but most of all I wanted relief -- to stop feeling so much feeling -- so much pain and fear.

So at eight years old I began to bargain with God to sell my soul -- I got “saved“. I began reading the Bible, praying, and became active in my church -- trying to be good enough to have Jesus purchase my soul -- take everything that was important to me, and give me relief.

I spent a lot of years and effort in this pursuit, and finally gave up about twenty years ago. Depression, and anxiety was ruling my life -- and I could find no peace.

Twenty years ago I discovered and began a spiritual journey through a different set of principles not rules -- spiritual not religious. From these principles and the people who shared similar life issues and challenges, I began to find a different life. I realized that my God is not interested in possessing my soul -- or me. They want my heart -- my love and presence within Their Love and Presence -- intimate closeness, companionship, and friendship. They have no conditions for Their love, care, and kindness. They are a Presence that exceeds all my human thought and understanding -- they can only be experienced -- they cannot be “known“ by my brain.

So what does this have to do with the Holidays?

Is your soul for sell? Are we selling parts of ourselves -- or all of ourselves -- our souls -- to be loved, accepted, cared about -- maybe just to not be abandoned, alone, forgotten? Are we consciously or unconsciously trying to meet someone else’s conditions and expectations, and in the process losing and selling ourselves? For how much would we sell our souls -- the beauty and grace we were created with -- for the hope of a different, seemingly better outcome?

The Holidays are a metaphor -- an experiential symbol -- for all of our lives and loves. If we can begin to find our God’s unconditionally loving and caring Presence, maybe we can begin to take a spiritual stand for our spiritual and personal freedom. Maybe we can begin to give our presence to others, and not remain the “slaves” of others’ obvious and hidden -- dark-- expectations and demands of others.

Progress is Perfection. Let’s start here. Let’s take as much of ourselves as we can off the market -- and give our deepest love and presence to those who can receive us this Holiday.

To those who have hearts that love, let them be loved -- joy pressed down and running over -- coming from our most innermost beings to others.

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Love Heals-- Spiritual Healing and Spiritual Enlightenment

Love cures people, the ones who receive, and the ones that give it, too.
Karl A. Menninger

“Love” is an interesting word in our culture. People can love ice cream, clothes, movies, TV shows, vacation places – and other people. Somehow the same word does not seem to mean the same in each situation.

And yet, the impression we can get from others is that everyone knows exactly what the word means. Frequently this seems to really be a case of “missing identity.”

Dr. Menninger describes “love” as the cure for people. I agree with his statement, only I believe we have to clarify what aspect of spiritual healing “love” involves.

Perhaps a place to start is with what “illness” does humans have that needs to be “cured” – why do we need spiritual healing at all.

In my experience, all human illness is caused by separation – from God, from others, and most acutely from ourselves. The condition of humanness is one of loneliness, guilt, fear, pain, anger – and sadness. All of these symptoms are directly related and proportionate to our level of our personal separation and sense of abandonment.

So what does love do that can cure our disease of humanness? Maybe “love” is about being intimately reconnected to God, to others, and to ourselves.

My experience is that God interacts with humans by means of Presence – an unconditional availability and flow of “loving” interpersonal energy which could be the definition of “love”.

Perhaps, if we were to interact with others using unconditional attentiveness and companionship, and gifts of caringness – spiritual presence to others -- maybe we would find people who responded to this spiritual treatment, and experienced spiritual healing of their human condition. Maybe like Dr. Menninger said, we would also find ourselves experiencing spiritual healing and spiritual enlightenment as well.

Let’s try and see.

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