Shadow Selves Returning Through Spiritual Presence and Daily Inspirations

Most of the shadows of this life are caused
by standing in one’s own sunshine.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am reminded of an image and inner vision that I have experienced, especially during meditation. I see shadows moving in and out and around me, and I wonder what these shadowy figures are. When I reach out to touch them, I experience that they are “Me’s” – lost selves -- separated by excessive levels of pain from past events and circumstances. They are moving – sometimes running -- around, trying to get my attention – wanting to come home – back to conscious contact with me. And I feel a sadness, an emptiness, and a different type of loneliness.

I sense that I lost selves when I experienced massive abandonment and separation – emotional pain. And I have experienced the regaining of lost selves when my God’s Presence was restored to my mental processes.


There are wonderful treasures of selves and spiritual enlightenment hidden within these shadows. We must connect with a higher Presence of loving Light in order for our darkness to be changed into this spiritual enlightenment – the restoration of our lost selves.

This conscious experience of our shadowy selves can be a wonderful gift of awakening and spiritual enlightenment. But first it may produce a terrifying sense of hopelessness and loss. In any case something will change – as our shadowed selves step back into consciousness, and once again – become Light.

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Going With the Flow of God's Presence -- Daily Inspirations

The chief of pang of most trials is not so much the actual suffering itself as our own spirit of resistance to it.
Jean Nicholas Grou

Life happens. It happens to us. And it is perceived through the mental filters of our brains which produce different and varied reactions and conclusions.

Filters operate by resisting certain aspects of light or sound – or mental and emotional experience – in an attempt to produce a desired reaction. Our brains are masters of this principle.

Based on our past experiences, certain sensations and perceptions are resisted by our brain in an attempt to protect us from pain. In the process, it ultimately does just the opposite.

Pain is actually produced by resistance. If I start swing my arms in the middle of a large room, I experience no pain. If I start swinging my arms in the middle of a doorway, I am going to feel pain – as my hand and arms connect with the resistance of the door frame.

A key to serene living and spiritual enlightenment is to reduce the level of resistance that our brains use to control neural energy and perception.

The first step in lowering my brains natural resistance is to become aware that my conscious, rational, logical brain has no ability to control the level of my impulse brain’s resistance. No amount of thought or will can remove the resistance my primitive brain is exercising over the neural impulses of my brain.

Sometimes it “seems” like thought brings relief, but it is not by reducing the resistance that causes the pain, but anesthetizing the brain’s conscious perceptors of pain.

Second, ours brains need spiritual enlightenment – the insertion of God’s higher Presence into the neural processes of our brain. God’s Presence gives a security that allows our brains to relax its control, and begin to find an emerging and incomprehensible peace.

Last, we need to break the cycle of resistance that our brains are using to protect us, by take specific and deliberate action that releases the constricted neural energy that is holding up the walls of resistance.

Breathe – wash the dishes – take out the trash – shower – vacuum the floor – make a phone call – go for a walk -- act as if God is taking care of everything, and do the next right healthy thing.

Spiritual enlightenment is about becoming fluid and loving, beginning to live daily – each precious moment – in the flowing, loving Presence of our very Present God.

Learn to Go With the Flow of God’s Presence.

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Abandoning Reason for Truth Through Daily Inspirations

Who listens to Reason is lost:
Reason enslaves all
whose minds are not strong enough to master her.

George Bernard Shaw

As an adolescent, I idolized Mr. Spock from Star Trek. I perceived him as perfect reasoning and logic without the hindrances of human emotion. When I have rewatched episodes in recent years, I realized that somehow my mind had filtered out his very human struggle to manage reason and emotion.

In the first of the Star Trek movies, Mr. Spock secretly leaves the ship to contact this enormous consciousness and force called Vyger. His whole reason for participating in this mission was to link mentally with this entity which was pure, 100% reasoning.

While away from the ship, Mr. Spock initiates a Vulcan mind meld with the entity, and connects to the conscious mind that is pure reasoning. There is an explosion of some energy, and Mr. Spock is blow back toward the Enterprise. When he is picked up, he is laughing – totally out of character for a Vulcan. When his friends ask him why he is laughing, he responds, “That creature is pure logic and reasoning. And he is asking one question: “Is This All That There Is?’”

The sad part of our personal stories is that the conscious reasoning and logical part of our brain, that we glorify and honor as the greatest part of us, has no ability to experience and be more than thought. It explains, analyzes, understands, questions, and “knows” – but it has no ability to experience love and Presence, closeness and meaning, precious moments and spiritual enlightenment.

The reasoning part of our brain is really a prison – with walls and walls of thought – contaminated by our unresolved pasts – destined to live and die alone and forgotten – in a seething sea of darkness.

With reasoning, we are told that we know and can know – and therefore we can understand – and therefore we can control the outcomes of our lives, if we try hard enough – and finally therefore we can make ourselves happy and serene.

These messages are not true. Reasoning is like a precocious and mentally alert child who cannot tie his own shoes, or feed himself. He is clever, and insightful, but one dimensional – linear in thought. His brain processes do not include the width and depth of emotion and intimate presence.

Because our reasoning brains tell us that we can know, we do not naturally seek the closeness and higher Presence of connection with others. And we become and are slaves to our brain’s perceptions and reactions. Reasoning hides our consciousness of our injuries and our illnesses, and so we do not seek the spiritual enlightenment of consistent reliance and dependence on God. We are forced to do whatever our brains tell us to do.

So how do we master Reasoning?

Actually we don’t. We can’t. That is the starting point. No amount of will can override my brains delusions. The beginning of mastery is to admit and experience that I cannot master and overcome my brain. Its programming does not allow me to have access and control.

From acceptance that we are powerless over our brains, and our perceptions and reactions have become unmanageable, we move to accessing spiritual resources that can change the imbalance of power. Daily inspirations, living in precious moments vs lifetimes, and spiritual Presence of our God, through others – bring the changes in neural brain functioning that produces spiritual enlightenment to replace mental intellect.

This acceptance and accessing of spiritual resources – precious moments and daily inspirations – leads to actively living in God’s Presence as acts of trust and intimacy. Our movement takes us beyond the walls of reasoning and thought into a world of light, love, serenity, and wondrous anticipation – what lies before us is infinitely possible, and exciting – when we are not alone.

We have begun to escape the past, and to live in the precious moments of spiritual enlightenment. We are abandoning our reasoning and rediscovering our truth – our true and loving selves.

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TWelve Step Classes Beginning March 28th and April 11th

I am giving information about Alanon related groups that will beginning soon at the Token III Club (Louisville, KY). If you are interested in any of the following please feel free to read the rest of the information and/or respond. All are free and open to all interested in improving their practice of Alanon/Twelve Step principles in their lives and relationships.
1. Spiritual Maintenance Group – Steps 1,2,3 &10, 11&12. (Beginning with an organizational meeting Sunday, March 28thst , and classes starting April 11th, both 3-4:30, lasting for 4-6 weeks)
2. Fourth Step Group (to begin after Spiritual Maintenance Group ends, or at another time and date if enough interest, and if another day and time can be determined that is acceptable to the group. Please note in emails other days/nights and times that may fit your schedule)
3. Ongoing Spiritual Maintenance Group (Thursday’s, 3:00 – 4:30 pm)
4. Other groups to be determined based on interest and available dates and times, for example:
• Eighth and Ninth Step Group
• The Alanon Grief and Loss Book
• Other Alanon and Twelve Steps principles, and literature.
• Other Alanon and Twelve Step life issues.

If you are interested in any of the above, please email me at wwass12@aol.com or call 499-0581. More information is provided below.

Twelve Steps and Spiritual Awakening

Thanks, Will

Becoming The Child Through Daily Inspirations

The child is the almost universal symbol for the soul’s transformation. The child is whole – not yet divided....When we would heal the mind...we ask the child to speak to us.

Susan Griffin

Many years ago, I went through some major inner child healing work as part of my spiritual recovery. In my journaling and meditation, I realized and experienced that past traumas of abandonment and abuse had triggered divisions within my inner child self, and I was cracked and fragmented.

As I began to practice and live the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps with these inner child selves, they became more and more present and loved by my God – Mom and Dad. As they began to live and breathe again in my conscious experience of my selves and Mom and Dad’s unconditional Presence -- they began to interact and share and heal. I experienced their reintegrating, their being restored to active consciousness, and their becoming increasing whole and alive.

Today, they appear reborn into a new and stable fluid child self, who responds and experiences and loves naturally and intuitively – a very present heart self.

Other separations still exists as adult selves. And as I am practicing spiritual principles of Presence, they are continuing their paths of returning “home” to my deepest and purest child self.

I experience today that I am not an adult – I have several isolated adult selves – and all of these adult selves are artificial selves that my brain created in order to protect me from the suffering of abandonment, separation, and abuse. I am being reborn within each moment – being restored with each breath – to the child my Parent-God originally gave birth to – within the wombs of their hearts.

Recovery does not mean that I have to become a different person. It means I need to start being myself again...

There is innocence within me that already knows how to trust my Higher Power, to cherish life while holding it lightly, to live fully and simply in the present moment. I will allow that part of myself to come forward and nourish me as I continue on this journey.

The Courage to Change

It takes one a long time to become young.

Pablo Picasso

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Taking a Good Look -- Remembering to Live in Precious Moments

Every now and again, take a good look at something not made with hands – a mountain, a star, the turn of a stream.

There will come to you wisdom and patience and solace

and, above all, the assurance that you are not alone in the world.

Sidney Lovett

This inspirational life quote is a reminder of some simple truths of spiritual enlightenment. First, we need to stop-- ever so often – maybe, more often – and remember, that we have forgotten something. The material world screams at us in no uncertain terms to pay attention to its useless chatter and clatter. And our brains react with screaming fierceness – “we have to avoid the present moment – human consciousness is not acceptable.” Together the material world and our brains whip up storms of illusion and confusion that keeps us from remembering – to remember – to stop and experience and reside in just this precious moment.

Take a look – open the eyes of our hearts – take a good look – at something – experience fully our experience of who we are – in something we are not – in something that is not demanding our attention – but in something that carries the subtleness of life’s inexhaustible mystery – within each precious moment – within each atom of human and spiritual experience.

Nature – natural -- not made by man -- uniquely transcendent compared to all the illusions we can create – “what is man that thou art mindful of him” – touch the face of God in moments of Their handiwork – because there are gifts hidden in their simplicity.

Wisdom – spiritual enlightenment – where our brains begin to clear of the wreckages of our pasts – where a higher Presence begins to glow in the darkened synapses of our brain – clarity of experience and intimate Presence adjusts our perceptions and reactions – and we are free to be more wholly present – in life’s precious moments. Wisdom is where human experience and God’s Presence join to become consciousness and intimacy into being.

Patience involves the absence of obsession with material outcomes because we have the guarantee of God’s Presence that all is planned and prepared for our best. The neural energy of our brains diminishes and we are no longer driven to control what will not make us happy anyway. Holding their hands – we have no need to be responsible for our outcomes, only for our presence within Their Presence.

Solace – relief from pain and grief. “Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted”. Their Presence comforts us. We are able to flow through our current and past pain and fear and sadness – and find rest. “Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give your rest.”

When I first began to experience rest, I experienced being a very young child, being held by a very attentive Parent and being gently rocked – safe, nurtured, and unconditionally loved and admired. The cares of my mind’s woundedness flowed out and away, and being replaced by a loving stillness – far beyond my brain’s capacity to create.

All of these gifts – nature, spiritual enlightenment, confidence and serenity, and restful spiritual healing – all these are part of the massive and emerging assurance – the personal experience that we are not ever alone – never abandoned or rejected, except by our own injured brains.

Gifts – from someone who likes us and loves us – without conditions or possibility of rejection – precious moments of God’s love becoming spiritual enlightenment.

No longer alone in our world.

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Journey to the Heart of Presence -- Daily Inspirations in Precious Moments

It is good to have an end to journey towards;
but it is the journey that matters in the end.
Ursula LeGuin

What is the meaning of life? A seemingly absurd question considering no one really “knows” the answer. Perhaps the closest answer is the one given by Jack Palance as a rough and worn cowboy in the movie “City Slickers”. He said that the meaning of life is “one thing” – just one thing. Find one thing that means the most to you, and make that the center of your life. Focusing on too many things destroys the meaning of life.

In my experience, the meaning of life is “Presence in the Present”. To experience God – our higher Presence – in this precious moment of time – the Present – that is the truest “meaning of life”. To feel and be totally human and conscious, and consciously connected to God – in this exact moment – gives a dimension to life that overwhelmingly amazing and freeing.

It’s ok to have goals and plans – except when they take us out of our precious moments and into the terrorfying future. We are – each moment – in a sparkle of meaning and love – when we are Present in Presence within our journey.

In math, a line between two points is composed of an infinite number of points. When we are present in this moment, we are approaching an eternity of beingness – the ultimate intimacy and closeness with God, ourselves and others.

So how do we live in the journey and not in the deception of the destination?

It’s impossible for me to do that. This is my starting point. My brain does not operate in present moments. It is always miles of ahead of where I am.
And I cannot stop this.

Second, for me, only inserting the higher Presence of my God into the present can stop my brain at this precious moment. Inspirational life quotes, inspirational readings, music, journaling, and the voice of God in others’ lips – all of these are means of increasing my conscious connection to my God – the meaning of life.

Third, for me, is to take action – do something – act as if God is taking me into this moment – act as if I am loved, safe, and guided. Many times it is as simple as taking the next breath, and taking the next step – being present in each motion forward as an expression of my trust in Their loving Presence and intent.

We have all been given a journey – an infinite number of precious moments -- opportunities for intimacy and meaning with our God. Let us breathe -- touch the hand of our higher Presence -- and step deeply into each precious moment -- our journey to the heart of Presence.

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Laughter and Tears -- Spiritual Enlightment and Daily Inspirations

I would not exchange the laughter of my heart for the fortunes of the multitudes: nor would I be content with converting my tears…into calm. It is my fervent hope that my whole life on this earth will ever be tears and laughter.
Kahlil Gibran

A story is told of a man who died and woke up in a beautiful bed, in a magnificent bedroom, in huge mansion. As he looked around in amazement and wonder, he thought to himself that he was hungry and some pancakes would taste good. Immediately the door opened, beautiful servants brought in the most wonderful, perfectly cooked and warm pancakes with the best syrup he had ever tasted. The orange juice was hand squeezed and perfectly sweet and tart. Everything was wonderful.

When he was finished, he thought how he would like to get dressed and go see this place. Immediately servants came into the room with just what he wanted to wear – and extremely comfortable. He was helped to get dressed and escorted downstairs, through the house, and out onto the grounds. And as he proceeded, everything he thought of that he wanted immediately was brought to him.

This went on for several days, and he began to become a little uneasy about all the immediate attention and every want being met as soon as he thought it. So he spoke with the head butler, and asked him to stop everyone from giving him everything he thought he wanted. The butler told him that it wasn’t possible to stop doing this. The man became upset, and angrily said, “Heaven just isn’t the way I thought it would be!”

The butler smiled and said, “Who said you were in heaven?”

The human illusion is that if we had everything we wanted, the way we wanted it, we would be happy. So we struggle and scheme and contrive, trying to get control of our circumstances. And when it doesn’t go our way, our lives are ruined and seemingly hopelessly lacking. But it is not our circumstances, but the wounded filters of our brain that are causing our unhappiness.

“I would not exchange the laughter of my heart for the fortunes of the multitudes...” “What doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?” (Bible) The material world seems to possess the control over our happiness since having material wealth seems to give us control over outcomes. And the insanity of humanness is the belief that outcomes determine our happiness.

A heart that can laugh – and cry – can love and be loved – can experience the higher and caring Presence that overrides human circumstances and outcomes. To be able to experience the humanness of living gives us the chance to experience the spiritual, intimate, and totally amazing.

The greatest hope and gift we can have is that we will never lose our laughter -- and our tears – to be fully and consciously human.
If we lose our human consciousness, we become dead to God’s loving and life changing Presence. We become the “undead” – no one home – feeding off of others and ourselves -- without ever knowing that we no longer exist.

Today, let’s take time to laugh – and let’s take time to cry – and in being fully human allow God to become fully Present – giving us Their fullness of love and caring joy and peace. This is a day of celebration that we are consciously alive – and we are not alone.

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The Myth of Santa God -- Twelve Steps and Daily Inspirations

Bill W. from Alcoholics Anonymous
Some of us have been violently anti-religious. To others, the word “God” brought up a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried to impress them during childhood...
We looked upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity, with deep skepticism.

Today, I attended two spiritual support meetings for alcoholics – and I listened.

The first meeting discussed Step 2 of the Twelve Steps, and the word “God”. Step Two says, “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

As I listened, I remembered as a child being taught to believe in Santa Claus – paralleled by being taught to believe in God. Santa rewarded good little boys and girls for good behavior all year long – “you reap what you sow.” Santa kept a list, and checked it twice, going to find out who has been naughty or nice – kind of like eventually everyone will stand before God at the white throne judgment to give an account of all their “sins”. And you write a letter to Santa telling him what you wanted – “if you ask anything in faith believing, God will give it to you.”

Interesting and amazing parallels of mythology.

Fortunately it only took nine or ten years to demythologize Santa. Unfortunately, it took another twenty five years, and major helpless and hopeless depression and alcoholism before I could demythologize “God”. Santa God was my last remaining hope that someday I would stop hurting – if I could just find out his “will” – rules and demands – and then I would choose to meet them. Without Santa God, I was not waiting a year to get what I “wanted” – but an eternity.

In my hopeless and helpless state of mind and heart, I was brought to a fork in the road of my life. I would continue my useless myth of “God”, or I would risk a different course and direction. I would have to consciously face my endless shame and dread of impending doom – the expectation of getting what I believed I deserved -- or trying again – over and over – to be “good enough”.

I realize now, over twenty years later, that the lie that kept the myth of God alive was the lie of “free will” Religion traditionally has needed a “hell”, and a punishment for ‘sin” in order to operate. And consequently, it has needed “free will” and choice to justify and defend its judgment and condemnation. If a person has no choice, he or she cannot technically be held responsible. (Actually, having no choice or free will does not take away consequences only “eternal damnation” and abandonment.)

The fork in the road was between continuing to believe the religious myth of God, and moving into intimate conscious Presence with a Higher Power or spirituality. The fork was Step One of the Twelve Steps:
"We admitted we were powerless – that our lives had become unmanageable."

In my experience, I “turned” when I experienced, admitted, and accepted that I was powerless over my perceptions, reactions, and actions – I do not have – alone – any will or power to choose my attitudes or behavior. I had to consciously experience my desperate and helpless hopelessness to change, and to be empowered to act in my own best interests. My conscious and willing experience of my wretched pain opened my heart, and with the help of others, I experienced an intimacy beyond mental thought and reasoning, that began changing my perceptions, reactions and actions. Bathed in Their intimate Presence, I began to heal. And my life began to become a better and better place.

Today, we (Mom, Dad and me) seem to be as intimate and close as my level of conscious experience of my powerlessness. The myths disappear – and in my heart I can be what is real – their unconditionally beloved son.

Bill W. from Alcoholics Anonymous.
Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.
Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.....As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His Presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow, and the hereafter. We were REBORN.

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