Friday morning, I was sitting in the ICU waiting room at Baptist East Hospital. I had just driven back from Lexington to Louisville because doctors believed that my daughter may have experienced a stroke and/or seizure, and might be paralyzed on her right side. She had given birth to a beautiful little girl just two weeks before, and Thursday morning she had begun having a major hemorrhaging. They did a DNZ Thursday, and had given her two pints of blood. But something happened while she was recovering in her hospital room, and she was rushed to ICU. Billy had called me in Lexington at about 12:30 in the morning, and I drove back, while calling family members – Billy’s cell phone was going out. The situation sounded and felt majorly out of control – people were sobbing in fear – and it had been five years this very night since Liz died.
I am sitting here in the ICU waiting room watching the clock – listening to other voices around me – and remembering -- 2:15 – 2:20 – 2:30 – that’s when I had realized – five years ago – lying beside Liz in her hospice bed – that she was gone. And I am sitting here – now -- fully awake – experiencing the humanness of my life and rememberings – wondering and amazed at the precision of my God’s planning and action.
There is a Plan. There are no accidents or coincidences – no mistakes. I have learned by experiencing their Presence that they are very much in control of what occurs – or what doesn’t occur. They have infinite unconditional love – and total consciousness of what is and could be. And in Their infinite love and wisdom, They direct our lives directly to what we would want, if we had Their level of knowledge and understanding.
I read a story, as a child, in a Sunday School commentary that has stuck with me my whole life. Obviously, I have had fluctuating levels of conscious experience of its truth, but it has seemingly always come back to me in painful situations.
The story is that a man saw an ant crawling on the ground looking for food. The man decided that he wanted to help the ant, so he dropped a piece of bread in the ant’s path. The bread startled the ant, and he ran off in the opposite direction. So the man got down on his knees, and using his hand, he blocked the ant’s path, gradually turning him until he brought the ant back to the bread.
I experience my God’s Presence in this way. Nothing happens in Their world by mistake. Acceptance – the conscious experience of their lovingness – is the ultimate solution to all my”problems”. My “problems” are my human, limited, and wounded perceptions and reactions. When I consciously experience their love, I become intuitively aware that all is ok – that I am being cared for, protected, and loved.
All of this reminds me how important “daily inspirations” – conscious inspirational experiences of my God’s Presence – are to my human experiences of life. I need to have a steady and consistent flow of Their Presence in order to remain comfortable – and conscious – to be able live my life within its own conditions and circumstances as clear and present acts of my God’s love and care.
Sunday: Dana is doing well now. Her temperature is down. She can use the right side of her body. She was able to have her baby – Nancy – stay with her and Billy last night at the hospital. She has received many gifts of presence from many loving family and friends. A very different outcome from five years ago.
And we go on. Grateful for life – and maybe for death – because we are maintaining our conscious intimate contact with our God through steady and strong “daily inspirations”.
Daily Inspirations Jewelry and Gifts .
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Photography/graphics by W. Wass
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