Step One: We admitted we were powerless –
that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step Two: We came to believe that a power
that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step Two: We came to believe that a power
greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
The topic of my spiritual support group today was the second spiritual principle of recovery and spiritual living. One thing that continues to catch my conscious awareness is how powerfully the sharing of our experience, strength, and hope produces spiritual awakenings and increasing conscious spiritual Presence with our God.
As I listened, I remembered that up to nine or ten months before I began recovery (over 22 years ago), my life was not unmanageable. I was not “insane” – emotionally and mentally unstable – in my perception. I was sufficiently unconscious to be unaware how devastated I was inside – hemorrhaging in every part of my mind – ripped and bludgeoned by my own shame – alone and separated from my God’s loving Presence.
A very unhealthy marriage ended – she left – and I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking I was now on “easy street”. I was wrong. Without the unconsciousness that the sick relationship had given me, I began to come apart – consciously. As feeling rushed back into areas of my mind that had been deadened by massive levels of distraction, I began to really fall apart – and I couldn’t stop my “fall”.
I had many professional colleagues who were professional therapists – like myself – but all the “kings” knowledge, and all the”kings” intellect could not put “Humpty” Will back together again. I was out of options.
In my desperation, some one suggested a spiritual support group for people with my background of problems – and I went. Even though I was a therapist, I had no choice but to go – or die.
The group was strange – unfamiliar – like nothing I had experienced before. They were people, who, like me, had become conscious of their overwhelming pain, who had come together to share their conscious experience, and be restored to “sanity” – an emotional balance empowered by a higher Presence that they had discovered and experienced together.
The incredible Presence that appeared in the meetings was revealed by the conscious pain and fear each person had experienced, as they shared their hope and strength with each other. They were healers empowered by their woundedness and by the humility of their continuing experience of conscious powerlessness and unmanageability. They were “themselves” – not experts or professionals.
In the process of today’s meeting, I heard some experiences that resounded with my experience:
1. One person shared how he had tried to take care of God, instead of letting his God take care of him. One of my powerful distractions before recovery was trying to figure out “God’s will” – God’s conditions for our relationship, believing that if I could satisfy God’s desires, He would love and take care of me – not abandon or reject me. It was a mistaken, mood altering distraction.
2. Another person told about how her recovering husband had finally told her she was right about something for the first time in over twenty-five years of recovery. She related how insanely she had tried to be right at the expense of her own happiness, but now, after reached a point of choosing happiness over being right, she actually had a chance to experience being right.
3. Another person related how her husband had admitted he was having emotional difficulty, and she reacted insanely believing she had control over his emotions, and was responsible to fix him, even though she had learned she did not cause his problems, she could cure them, and she could not control them.
4. Another person described how she had “relapsed back into being a shrew” in a life situation, and she felt so “ashamed”. She was working to reconnect with her God so she could be restored to lovingness and emotional balance.
These are all incredible humans sharing their woundedness and their healing in miraculous and life changing ways – and being sacred sources of healing love for others.
When I was in high school, my chemistry teacher asked us to consider the molecular make up of different metals, and determine which metal was the best conductor of electricity. We were unsuccessful. So he told us that silver is the metal that best conducts electricity.
I see that this is a metaphor for my spiritual recovery group – and groups like it. There are many channels for the flow of our God’s conscious Presence, but the best is where there are no experts or gurus – only consciously wounded people connecting to other consciously wounded people. Together, we can create a spiritual silver lining in our lives where our God’s Presence can flow freely and strong.
We need to consciously experience our humanness, which opens our hearts and minds to God’s Presence. And we need to consciously connect experientially with our God’s higher Presence so we can be restored to spiritual intimacy and emotional balance. And it is impossible – and unnecessary -- to do this alone.
"The Second Step of the Twelve is the one that opens the door to understanding and growth. Once we have admitted our helplessness – and our inability to manage our lives – then w are ready to “
believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
One Day at a Time February 2nd
The topic of my spiritual support group today was the second spiritual principle of recovery and spiritual living. One thing that continues to catch my conscious awareness is how powerfully the sharing of our experience, strength, and hope produces spiritual awakenings and increasing conscious spiritual Presence with our God.
As I listened, I remembered that up to nine or ten months before I began recovery (over 22 years ago), my life was not unmanageable. I was not “insane” – emotionally and mentally unstable – in my perception. I was sufficiently unconscious to be unaware how devastated I was inside – hemorrhaging in every part of my mind – ripped and bludgeoned by my own shame – alone and separated from my God’s loving Presence.
A very unhealthy marriage ended – she left – and I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking I was now on “easy street”. I was wrong. Without the unconsciousness that the sick relationship had given me, I began to come apart – consciously. As feeling rushed back into areas of my mind that had been deadened by massive levels of distraction, I began to really fall apart – and I couldn’t stop my “fall”.
I had many professional colleagues who were professional therapists – like myself – but all the “kings” knowledge, and all the”kings” intellect could not put “Humpty” Will back together again. I was out of options.
In my desperation, some one suggested a spiritual support group for people with my background of problems – and I went. Even though I was a therapist, I had no choice but to go – or die.
The group was strange – unfamiliar – like nothing I had experienced before. They were people, who, like me, had become conscious of their overwhelming pain, who had come together to share their conscious experience, and be restored to “sanity” – an emotional balance empowered by a higher Presence that they had discovered and experienced together.
The incredible Presence that appeared in the meetings was revealed by the conscious pain and fear each person had experienced, as they shared their hope and strength with each other. They were healers empowered by their woundedness and by the humility of their continuing experience of conscious powerlessness and unmanageability. They were “themselves” – not experts or professionals.
In the process of today’s meeting, I heard some experiences that resounded with my experience:
1. One person shared how he had tried to take care of God, instead of letting his God take care of him. One of my powerful distractions before recovery was trying to figure out “God’s will” – God’s conditions for our relationship, believing that if I could satisfy God’s desires, He would love and take care of me – not abandon or reject me. It was a mistaken, mood altering distraction.
2. Another person told about how her recovering husband had finally told her she was right about something for the first time in over twenty-five years of recovery. She related how insanely she had tried to be right at the expense of her own happiness, but now, after reached a point of choosing happiness over being right, she actually had a chance to experience being right.
3. Another person related how her husband had admitted he was having emotional difficulty, and she reacted insanely believing she had control over his emotions, and was responsible to fix him, even though she had learned she did not cause his problems, she could cure them, and she could not control them.
4. Another person described how she had “relapsed back into being a shrew” in a life situation, and she felt so “ashamed”. She was working to reconnect with her God so she could be restored to lovingness and emotional balance.
These are all incredible humans sharing their woundedness and their healing in miraculous and life changing ways – and being sacred sources of healing love for others.
When I was in high school, my chemistry teacher asked us to consider the molecular make up of different metals, and determine which metal was the best conductor of electricity. We were unsuccessful. So he told us that silver is the metal that best conducts electricity.
I see that this is a metaphor for my spiritual recovery group – and groups like it. There are many channels for the flow of our God’s conscious Presence, but the best is where there are no experts or gurus – only consciously wounded people connecting to other consciously wounded people. Together, we can create a spiritual silver lining in our lives where our God’s Presence can flow freely and strong.
We need to consciously experience our humanness, which opens our hearts and minds to God’s Presence. And we need to consciously connect experientially with our God’s higher Presence so we can be restored to spiritual intimacy and emotional balance. And it is impossible – and unnecessary -- to do this alone.
"The Second Step of the Twelve is the one that opens the door to understanding and growth. Once we have admitted our helplessness – and our inability to manage our lives – then w are ready to “
believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
One Day at a Time February 2nd
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