Consciousness Hurts Without Higher Presence -- Grief and Daily Inspirations

WARNING!

At lunch, I was telling Kathy about this article, and she jokingly said it should come with a warning label. So here it is:

The Surgeon General has determined that this article may be hazardous to your mental and emotional unconsciousness. It is recommended that you do not read this article while operating your life or any mechanical relationships. This article may cause mental irritation, cognitive disorientation, and interpersonal disruptions. Use only under the supervision of a qualified spiritual guide.

There Is a Threat

Last night I met and talked with a special friend who is really struggling with his experience of his life and himself. He helped me become much more conscious of my self -- which is, in my experience, the foundation of human and spiritual consciousness.

The biggest threat to the quality of human life on this material and mental plane is actually consciousness. As long as we can maintain a “comfortable” level of unconsciousness through distraction, thought, food, and sometimes chemicals, life can be reasonably manageable and livable. We can “do the time”.

But once our level of consciousness rises above a certain point, we are really in major trouble. We start seeing “dead people” (metaphor), and we are seemingly the only ones doing so, so we must be bad, really messed up, or just deliberately stupid.

Actually “None of the above” is true.

What’s “Wrong”?

We don’t “understand” what is “wrong” with us – and it has to be wrong because it gets in the way of our accomplishing “necessary” or at least normal life outcomes. And it separates us emotionally and physically from others who do not also “see dead people”. We feel abandoned, alone, weird – evil, not good enough -- deserving to be judged, condemned, and punished.

Our brains respond to our verdict by subjecting us to inhumane punishments of self abandonment and self abuse, in an attempt to rehabilitate us into normally unconscious members of the human species. Birth and death are the established reference points. The “successful life” is when the in between is just one giant blur.

Consciousness is totally unacceptable and wrong because it seems to threaten the entire survival structure of humanity, and of our brain’s functioning.

So, what our brain does is proceeds to try to destroy consciousness as it would a bacteria or infection.

Auto Immune Disease

A physical example of this form of self-punishing – self controlling -- process is auto-immune diseases. Auto immune diseases are where the body – at the command of the brain -- treats healthy living tissue as if it were actually infected cells, and proceeds to harm and destroy itself. A common example of this is arthritis. The brain has instructed the body to abuse and destroy a healthy part of the body – perhaps as some form of unconscious reaction to shame and a need for punishment -- in order to get control of outcomes – to limit one’s level of consciousness – and to maybe give a means of “redemption” from the shameful pain of being conscious.

Myths of Grace and Redemption

Notice how organized religion has built such an elaborate thought system of sin and forgiveness – resulting in the story and belief in the human sacrifice of one man to “pay” for the sins or misdeeds of the world. Organized religion has successfully created a myth of God built around man’s own illness of shame and separation by attaching “free will” and choice to our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Religion has established staunch resistance to human and spiritual consciousness as if it were an infectious organism.

The “business” of organized religion is to sell grace – the delusion of undeserved favor by a judging and conditional “God”, and redemption – forgiveness for the symptoms of being human from a “God” who supposedly sees our weaknesses as valid justification to abandon and abuse us.

Grace is a fantasy because my God has no conditions or rules – only love, affection, and Presence. They give me everything I am able to accept – that I can accept that they believe I deserve. They perceive, from Their perspective, that, as Their child, I deserve everything They can give me.

Redemption and forgiveness really has nothing to do with my God: it has to do with my shame/separation based perceptions of myself, and how I condemn and punish myself.

A religious explanation used to explain Jesus’ experience of separation on the cross from His Father, has been that “God could not look at sin – and Jesus represented all sin.” The truth is the only sin my God sees – that Jesus’ Father saw -- is through our eyes looking back at ourselves in the extreme moments of painful separation.

Reactivity to Consciousness

About now, the part of the brain that is responsible to maintain a livable level of unconsciousness is probably, in some readers, becoming activated, and there is a resistance of emotional energy forming. Probably it will erupt to the surface as some form of rage or anger, or blank irritated numbness. The brain will begin punishing and harming some of you to keep consciousness from increasing. And if this occurs you are totally and absolutely powerless – and totally perfect. You – like all human beings – are absolutely doing the best that you can – always have, and there is no room for judgment or criticism.

And to some, maybe, a light will come on that you can live with, and you will be enabled to hear what I am sharing.

Self-Destructive and Helpless

My friend’s human mental illness is destroying him – from the inside out – and today, at this moment, he is totally powerless to stop it. I feel an aching feeling inside me – the consciousness that he is “us”, and that if nothing can change he will continue dying the most horrible death a human being can experience: his own conscious self destruction, as a result of horrendous and terrorifying separation -- from his unconditionally loving God -- from the incredibly beautiful and gifted person that he is -- and from the care and love of friends and family who treasure and adore his childlike energy and spirit.

I feel my ache inside as I think about him.

Is there no hope? As Scrooge asked the ghost of the future, “Can not these words be sponged from this stone?”

Is There Hope?

The honest answer to this question is twofold: First, I don’t know. I have seen many people who suffered from my friend’s mental and spiritual “auto immune” disease, and die unmercifully.

And I have experienced people who found a spiritual Presence in their torment that began to lift them out of the pending tomb of their impending doom. What frequently stops me in my tracks is I don’t know which category any individual fits into. If someone is in the first category, my efforts to “help” can actually do more harm than help.

Do No Harm

Doctors have the Hipprocatic oath that they take which partly says simply, “Do no harm.” I struggle to not inflict people with more consciousness than they can manage and use to heal their separation and abandonment.

Spiritual Approach to Improving Consciousness

The spiritual process that I have learned and lived over the past 23 years is as follows:
1. First, I must have an increasing conscious contact with my wounded self. This means I have to experience – more and more consciously – the pain and fear, which results from my shame and separation. Without this improving consciousness I cannot have the needed motivation, willingness, and direction to move closer and closer to my God. I will not have an experiential awareness that without Them, I am totally powerless.
2. Second, I must have an increasingly conscious and intimate contact with my God. The “mechanisms” of will, and healthy decision making in my brain cannot work without a steady and strong flow of intimate Presence from my God. Most frequently for me, my God communicates through others who are also struggling with painful human consciousness.
3. Third, empowered by my God’s loving Presence, I must begin to actively participate in Their caring and unconditional will for me. The most basic form of this for me has been learning to just “breathe” – deeply, consciously, and deliberately. Living consciously and deliberately in the care and Presence of our God – our unconditionally loving Parents -- this is living faith.

Grief and Loss

My life experience is that grieving life losses -- known and unknown – is life threatening for the very reasons I have been describing. When we touch that inflamed and wounded parts of our selves, the resulting pain drives up to increased consciousness. Our brains try to regain control, and not only disallows our healing, but wounds us even more. To have healing from our God’s love, we must maintain a steady flow of their caring Presence. Our level of conscious contact with Them must be equal to or greater than our conscious pain in order to heal and regain our lost selves.

WARNING!
I am going to repeat Kathy’s warning label here:

The Surgeon General has determined that these articles may be hazardous to your mental and emotional unconsciousness. It is recommended that you do not read these articles while operating your life or any mechanical relationships. These articles may cause mental irritation, cognitive disorientation, and interpersonal disruptions. Use only under the supervision of a qualified spiritual guide.

Thanks for reading.

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