When I stopped trying to analyze and explain everything and started living the (spiritual) principles, actually using them in my everyday situations, the (Twelve Step) program suddenly made sense – and I wanted to change….
Does analyzing my situation provide any useful insights or is it an attempt to control the uncontrollable?
I have heard that knowledge is power. But sometimes my thirst for knowledge can be an attempt to exercise power where I am powerless.
Does analyzing my situation provide any useful insights or is it an attempt to control the uncontrollable?
I have heard that knowledge is power. But sometimes my thirst for knowledge can be an attempt to exercise power where I am powerless.
The Courage to Change
Answers create the illusion that I can control a situation or outcome. If I understand it, I can control it. And for some, this seems to work. Knowing that what is going on is normal under the circumstances, and sorta knowing what to expect in the future, gives many enough relief that addressing the problems and changing becomes unnecessary. Or just thinking about the answers may be able to anesthetize enough of the brain to make solutions unnecessary.
For those people, the road to spiritual ecovery ends here. “Just the facts, please!”
For others, the answers do not give enough relief, and actually increases the level of conscious pain, fear, hopelessness, and helplessness. If we know what the answer is and we are still messed up, what else can we do?
Twelve Step spiritual support groups have the incredible capacity to give both answers – understanding and information-- and solutions – actual spiritual healing and change. And I have to remember the difference, or my disease will try to make the answers be my solution. It’s like taking a Tylenol for a brain turmor – it only treats the symptom, and never addresses the cause.
For me, it has been critical to see solutions as a spiritual process and practice of spiritual living to use in place of my thoughts and intellect. This process starts with the experience and admission that I am totally unable to control the outcomes of my life – including my own perceptions, reactions, attitudes, and actions. This has to be experienced and not thought or reasoned, or I am again trying to solve my problems with answers and not with solutions.
From this experience of powerlessness, I am moved toward conscious contact with a higher Power or Presence, who begins to heal and reprogram my brain: consistent contact with meetings, spiritual advisors, other recovering people, and spiritual readings and literature.
From here, and with help, I begin to identify actions that will encourage and support my surrender to my God’s loving will for me: breathe, do the dishes, shave, get information, ask for help, etc…
And then I continue repeating this process, continuing to inventory and monitor my levels of emotional balance, and ability to love and serve others. When there seems to be a problem, I promptly admit it and improve my conscious spiritual contact with my God.
For those who experience more intense pain and motivation, there are more intense spiritual diagnostic tools in the Fourth through Ninth Steps.
The ultimate question is how important is it – how uncomfortable is it. This will be deciding factor regarding how satisfied we can be with answers, and how motivated we will be to live the solutions.
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
Soren Kierkegaard
If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.
Zen Proverb
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