I was walking through a store a few days ago, and heard a traditional holiday song playing in the background. Before I even recognized the song, I was conscious of experiencing a nostalgic sadness and melancholy -- somehow remembering sad holidays when the seasonal outcomes were perceived as somehow “less than“. I realized that the holidays carry a shadowy darkness of past rememories -- most without clear details.
To me, the holidays have been contaminated for so long with commercial conditionalism that even positive experiences somehow seem sorta sad and grief ladden. I believe I have been convinced that the material world is the measurement of the quality of our Holidays. And consequently, the holidays can seem sad and lonely -- never quite enough -- something seems missing – probably missing God’s conscious Presence.
Perhaps this Holiday can be a time for change and spiritual healing. Maybe my perceptions and reactions can be restored to sanity and love -- maybe the confusions and pains of the past can be replaced with a present loving Holiday Presence of my higher power.
Over the years, I have learned to practice the Twelve Steps as a path to greater conscious contact and intimacy with my God -- especially in challenging times like the holidays:
1. We admitted we were powerless -- that our Holidays were unmanageable by us.
2. We came to believe -- through loving experiences -- that our higher power could restore us to healthy perceptions and reactions regarding the Holidays.
3. We made decisions and took the action necessary to surrender our perceptions and our outcomes of the Holidays over to the loving care of our God.
4. We took a searching and courageous inventory of our unresolved emotional issues regarding the Holidays, remembering the past events that continue to affect our present Holiday experiences with times of fear and sadness.
5. We admitted to God, and to ourselves through other human beings the exact nature of our Holiday reactions.
6. We became entirely prepared and willing to have our God’s Presence heal our defective and sad Holiday memories and perceptions.
7. Humbly we asked for our God to replace any Holiday sadness, grief and loneliness with Their Presence.
8. We made a list of all persons we felt that we may have harmed over past Holidays, and prepared to forgive ourselves with God’s Presence.
9. We took the action necessary to forgive ourselves for Holiday harm we may believe we did.
10. We continued to review our perceptions and reactions over the Holidays, and when we became uncomfortable, promptly admitted it to God, to ourselves, and to others. And then—
11. We promptly sought -- through prayer and listening -- improved conscious contact Presence with our God, as we experienced Them, asking for Their power to live totally in Their loving Holiday Presence.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening for the Holidays, we tried to carry the message of God’s loving Presence to others, and continued to practice higher Holiday Presence through all our new year.
As I am writing this, there is a beautiful Christmas musical special on TV behind me -- Kathy is wrapping presents for our children and grandchildren -- and there is a growing, moving, loving Presence flowing inside my mind and heart.
I am still powerless. But We -- They and I -- are not! I can practice better Holidays by my God’s divine design -- by practicing Their conscious contact with all that occurs.
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This is a wonderful use of the 12 steps for the holidays!! Thank you for the creative use of these tools.
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